Positive Thinking on Purpose

Feb 18, 2011 by Wendy

My 82 year old father has been ill recently. I took him to HUP (Hospital at the University of PA) last week because his energy level was so low that he could barely stay awake.

6 months ago, my dad was playing tennis 5 days a week, so I’m now finding myself more worried about him.

My dad is one of those people who is always ahead of the pack. Back in the 70′s he was one of the first to get on the bandwagon of eating healthy. When 100% whole wheat flour became widely available, he happily substituted it for white flour in everything he cooked.

I remember one particular memorable Sunday breakfast. He was making his usual creamed chip beef on toast recipe for us for breakfast. It was our favorite. But now, with his newfound desire for total health, he made it with whole wheat flour and fat free milk. No cream, no butter, no white flour. He served it on 100% whole wheat bread. We thought it was disgusting. He loved it.

So now he’s going for a procedure at the hospital next week. He has congestive heart failure. The fluid in the back of his heart needs to be released so his heart will work normally again.

In the past few weeks I’ve been keenly aware of my thoughts. When I first brought him to the hospital I made myself stay calm and relaxed throughout the process. Not easy in a big city hospital. Every time I noticed a negative thought in my mind I “released it into the atmosphere” till it disappeared. Then I consciously replaced it with “I am calm and relaxed”.

I knew my dad was frightened at a very deep level and his way to deal with life is to take control. When someone is in control (or thinks he is) fears that he is not in control, he tends to do what he knows best. Try to control what he can. I was right in his line of target; the perfect person to bark at. Um..I mean try to control.

So every time my dad directed me to do something (he can be a challenging person to be with), I took a deep breath and reminded myself to respond calmly. Rather than be angry or upset at his orders, I found myself  thinking “Thank goodness for Louisa (his wife). It’s wonderful that she loves and takes such good care of him.” (Translated: I now know how hard it is to take care of him when he needs it lol!)

I spent the better part of that day helping him while being acutely aware of my thoughts and how they affected my feelings. I took every opportunity I noticed to change those thoughts that were causing me to feel bad.

Positive thinking kept me in that space so that I could be with him 100% that day.

Now that he will be going back to HUP for his procedure on Tuesday, I’m finding that I have to be aware of my thoughts even more.

Now, when I feel worried, I imagine sending him love and healing.

Now, when I think of all the statistics about death and infections in hospitals, I choose to remember that these are just numbers.

Now, when I think of how weak my dad is, I focus on the fact that he is extremely proactive and wants to improve.

And of course, I’m now imagining him coming home quickly and getting back to his normal self in a few weeks.

Creating positive thoughts on purpose helps me to get through the day noticing the possibilities, rather than thinking about the worse that will happen.

While my thoughts may or may not make a difference in his life, I like the idea that perhaps our thoughts have energy and I’m sending him healing loving energy every day.

Do you think that our thoughts have energy?

What have you done in situations like this? How did your thoughts make a difference?

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Lady Gaga, A Surprising Positive Thinker

Feb 13, 2011 by Wendy

I expected to hate Lady GaGa’s performance on the Grammy’s when she sang “I Was Born This Way”. on the Grammy’s. Instead I had a surprising reaction.

Here is a woman who has been laughed at, imitated, and parodied on youtube numerous times. As a successful singer she is in the enviable position of being a powerful influencer to an entire generation.

Tonight she proved that she a hugely creative woman who has a message to share.

She is spreading the message of self acceptance and pride when she sings: “Don’t hide yourself in regret, just love yourself and you’re set, I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way.”

The truth that she shares is profound. We are all born and over time we create our own limitations and expectations.

The truth is that we can choose to accept ourselves and move forward.  We can choose how we think about ourself. We can be in control of every thought we have. We can stop negative ones and replace with positive thoughts.

When you realize that you can do this, then it’s up to you to find the best tools for you to take control and change.

When people find me it’s because they are looking for Hypnosis or EFT Tapping. These are the tools I choose to help my clients.

Lady GaGa chooses to sing. What do you do to get your message out?

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Control Your Thoughts on Purpose

Feb 12, 2011 by Wendy

Last week a lawyer called me to help a client who is nervous about  testifying.  She has a fear of speaking and combined with the anxiety of being in front of a jury has caused her to be even more anxious.

Her attorney wants me to help her because her fears have taken over her life.  She can’t sleep, she’s overeating, and she’s having trouble focusing when she is at work.

As a Certified Hypnotist, my goal is to help clients reduce their stress and get over their fear of speaking in public.

One of the ways I do this is to help my clients understand that they have the ability to choose their thoughts. Often it feels as if our thoughts are in control of us. Frequently thoughts seem to be random, and it may feel as if you have no control over them.

This is the furthest thing from the truth. In fact, the ONE THING WE CAN CONTROL is our thoughts.

Choosing your thoughts has a measurable benefit. The first benefit is that you will feel better when you think positively. Thinking positively means that you can thing about what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

Simply said, you will feel better when you think about what you do want.

The flip side of this is that you are guaranteed to feel bad whenever you think about what you don’t want.

Need proof that you can be in control of your thoughts? Take a look at Viktor Frankl’s life and his writings. In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Frankl describes his life in a concentration camp. Even in the degradation and abject misery of a concentration camp, Frankl was able to exercise the most important freedom of all – the freedom to determine one’s own attitude and spiritual well-being.

Everyday we get the opportunity to choose our thoughts.

How is my client doing? In two sessions her fear has dropped dramatically. When she met me her fear was at a 10. (On a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being the highest.)

She reported that her fear has dropped to a 2. She is sleeping better. She noticed that she is eating less junk food. She can even see herself on the witness stand and imagine herself responding calmly. Is she looking forward to testifying in court? Not really. But she is feeling better about doing it. She is no longer overcome with anxiety.

When you use logic to try to get over our fears you’ll keep on struggling. When you use hypnosis and EFT Tapping to eliminate your negative thoughts where they reside – in the subconscious mind – you can overcome them easily.

Are you choosing your thoughts or are you letting them just happen?

What do you do when you when you want to change some of your thoughts? Please share your tips and techniques!

If you know it’s a Placebo can you still get better?

Feb 6, 2011 by Wendy

A recent study by a variety of top notch doctors and Harvard challenged our conventional wisdom about using placebos. These docs theorized that patients who use placebos and ARE AWARE THAT THEY ARE USING PLACEBOS could improve.

They took a group of people suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). One group of subjects took no medication. The other group of subjects were given a bottle of sugar pills which were labeled “PLACEBO”.

The “open label Placebo” group was also given:

1. An accurate description of what is known about placebo effects

2) Encouragement to suspend disbelief

3) Instructions that foster a positive but realistic expectancy and

4) Directions to adhere to the medical ritual of pill taking.

So the “open label placebo” group was essentially given positive suggestions. They were all at a place where they wanted to improve and feel better. They were primed for success because they desired success.

The outcome was that the “Placebo” group actually improved remarkably more than the non-placebo group.

Every subject was aware that they were taking inert placebos. Did the process of popping a pill turn on a “healing switch” in their minds?

What do you think caused the “Placebo” group to do so much better?